Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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