All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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