Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
