only you would photoshop your dick
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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