apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
