I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
