I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
