...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
