I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
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I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
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Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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