I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize