Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
