I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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