it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
