you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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