That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize