I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She announced her abortion via fbk
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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