Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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