i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
