I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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