Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we have officially lost it.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
