Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
