I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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