remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
