Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
