): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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