Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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