I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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