Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
