gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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