dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
