Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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