:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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