...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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