i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
