so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I have feelings that need drinking.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
