So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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