They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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