i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
