Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize