What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
