I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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