Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
