I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
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The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
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Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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