Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize