I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize