This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
