I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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