Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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