are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
