This girl is more easily done than said...
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
