you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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