arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
