so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
