I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
