PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
