I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
