do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
