I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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