I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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