The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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