how do flat chested girls get laid?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
COCAINE IS GR8
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
