Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
As shirtless as possible
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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