return my video game
My pussy is not your playground.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
