dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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