the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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