I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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