It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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